Her expression crumples, and she looks away, breathing in sharp. Something burns at her eyes even as her jaw locks.
"I know," she says, and her voice is quiet, strained but true. It will happen in their own world. The very thought has her heart thundering too loud in her chest like a trapped bird within its cage, roughly crashing into the bony sides. Her eyes close, and she keeps her hand in his own, but she curls in slightly on herself. It's a weaker position than she would ordinarily allow, but it's him. It's him, and it's them.
It's the two of them, and so she doesn't force all those emotions back, but she lets herself feel them-- lets herself be overtaken by them, lets herself be less than.
"You don't know how many people have died because of me. I didn't want you- I didn't want you to be one of them, but you did. And that's because of what I chose. I don't know what the fuck to do, but I know I shouldn't have done... that."
She presses her free hand to her face, breathing in again and out again.
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"I know," she says, and her voice is quiet, strained but true. It will happen in their own world. The very thought has her heart thundering too loud in her chest like a trapped bird within its cage, roughly crashing into the bony sides. Her eyes close, and she keeps her hand in his own, but she curls in slightly on herself. It's a weaker position than she would ordinarily allow, but it's him. It's him, and it's them.
It's the two of them, and so she doesn't force all those emotions back, but she lets herself feel them-- lets herself be overtaken by them, lets herself be less than.
"You don't know how many people have died because of me. I didn't want you- I didn't want you to be one of them, but you did. And that's because of what I chose. I don't know what the fuck to do, but I know I shouldn't have done... that."
She presses her free hand to her face, breathing in again and out again.
"I'm sorry."