Clementine nods because she understands it. She understands feeling exhausted but not being able to sleep, feeling terrible and not being able to shut it out. She swallows thickly, looking out at the rest of the room once more.
It is far emptier than it should be. That's how she feels too.
"I'm not sure. There was a video that came over the network with the White Queen. Someone found all the stones, and there was a snap. The Jabberwocky was there all of a sudden, but-"
That hardly seems as important as the fact that: "A lot of people just turned to ash."
That's certainly news. Louis' brow furrows, as he tries to make sense out of that sentence. He'd read Alice in Wonderland when he was a kid- he was vaguely aware of the characters within it. That was one he'd not seen here before- but then he'd never seen the White Rabbit, either or the Mad Hatter or the March Hare or any other number of characters he remembers from the story. He figured some might be dead, or missing by some insane Wonderland scenario.
"The- the big dragon thing? Was that here before? Is it being here a bad thing? It sounds like it's a bad thing."
And can they maybe have less bad things for a change, Wonderland? That'd be nice. Having less horror in their lives. The ash things settle on him quietly, Juliet had said something like that might happen if they lost. He guesses that means they lost.
Clementine nods. The big dragon thing. She never really read the story herself until she came to Wonderland, and she wanted to know all she could about it.
"It's bad. It was here before, infecting people's dreams." She's not an expert on it. The last time she read the story was a long time ago. "It's hungry, hungrier than walkers. A whole helluva lot stronger than them too."
She swallows at the other question, and then shakes her head.
"I don't know. A lot. I saw Steven go-" Her eyes close, and she breathes in and then breathes out. Her eyes open once more, and she finds a steady place to stand on somehow in the midst of all this uncertainty and pain, fear and grief. It's an ugly mix like a boulder within. "I can't get a hold of Michonne. A lot of people are just- They're gone."
"Great. So that's a new awful thing we're gonna have to deal with. Fabulous. Looking forward to all of that."
Just when he thinks Wonderland can't make anything worse for them, it goes ahead and pulls shit like this. He's starting to wonder if home, as shitty and terrible as it is, is actually the better option. At least they know what they're doing back home. They know danger is going to come from walkers or other people. You can plan around that. You can't plan for some magical dragon lizard thing. Jesus.
It settles on him like a weight. Steven's gone. Steven's a good kid, he reminds Louis of Tenn- and that is a wound that's nowhere near even starting to heal. The thought that another sweet, gentle kid has been wiped out of existence makes his stomach churn. Fuck.
"Michonne?" that's the one that hurts the worst though, fear drips into his expression. "Do you- do you think that happened to her? The dust thing?"
Not Michonne. She's been the first adult he's truly trusted for years. The first one he's really let into his life again. She's like a mother to him, and the thought of her being gone... it makes everything else a hundred times worse.
Clementine has no idea how any of them are going to deal with a problem so big- the Jabberwocky isn't something they can defeat like they just barely managed to defeat the Deltas. This thing can infect people's nightmares, and- She breathes out sharp to shelve it away.
They'll have to prepare for what is going to come. They can't just let it happen. But for now, she has to reveal this painful reality to him. She has to tell him that so many people they cared about disappeared in a moment. They turned to ash after she had already died, and-
Clementine would never lie to him even if it means hurting him more, hurting him on top of the rest of the pain and brokenness that he is feeling. Something in her chest tightens.
"Yeah, I do. If she was still alive, she'd be here right now to make sure you were alive again, breathing again," Clementine says, and Michonne is not here so that can only mean one thing: She's gone. She turned to ash or she was killed, but she is not alive right now.
They've got another hell of a fight ahead of them. Wonderland is becoming increasingly good at raising the hostility stakes. It's deeply worrying- what on earth can it do next? How is it planning to top this? It's the stuff of nightmare already.
"Right... yeah."
His heart sinks. This whole thing is utter bullshit. He knows they'll come back- he came back, so it stands to reason they would, too. That's what Wonderland did, right? Brought everyone back. But the fact they return doesn't ease the fact they died any. Instinctively, he reaches out to take one of her hands in his, giving it a gentle squeeze. Comfort, for as much her as him.
Clementine lifts her head as Louis reaches for her hand, and she tightens her hold on his hand as he does. She closes her eyes, breathing out, nodding in agreement, leaning against him.
"Yeah. Shitty fucking week."
The shittiest since they got back, the shittiest day in her Wonderland stay so far, and she's including the day that she died and the time that she got a bit drunk, because she was struggling so much with all of it.
He takes comfort in her being close and hopes he at least does the same for her. So long as they have one another, they'll weather every goddamn storm Wonderland can throw at them. He's sure of that much, even if right now he feels so very tired and broken. He'll figure out a way to pull it back together- because she's here. He lets out a soft sigh, turning their hands, lacing his fingers between hers.
"Winner of the Shittiest Week Ever Award," he agrees. "Still not as shitty as home, but it's making a damn good run for that one right now."
He leans in, pressing a kiss to her temple. He's already so very sorry that he left her. That he put her in a position where she had to put him down. But he knows not to voice that- it wouldn't do either of them any good. But this little comfort- he can give her, and hopes it's enough.
Clementine watches their hands as he turns them, and she moves in close to him, tightening her hold on his hand, nodding her agreement. "Let's just stay here for a little bit, okay?" She leans against him, drawing him close to the wall too so he can rest. Not that sleep will be possible, but she doesn't want sleep.
She wants to stay in this moment with him.
She wants to press her ear close to his chest to hear his heartbeat and hear him breathing.
He lets out a long, slow breath. Sleep is so very past him, she's right about that, but resting... resting he can do. He leans, his head resting against the wall with a gentle thunk.
"Yeah. I think that's a good plan."
He doesn't want to face going out there just yet- dealing with just how many people have died. He isn't ready to even start putting on a smile for anyone else, he just needs a little time to regroup. He closes his eyes, not sleeping just- tuning out for a little while. Just having a short span of time where it was just him and her and nothing else mattered just for goddamn once.
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no subject
It is far emptier than it should be. That's how she feels too.
"I'm not sure. There was a video that came over the network with the White Queen. Someone found all the stones, and there was a snap. The Jabberwocky was there all of a sudden, but-"
That hardly seems as important as the fact that: "A lot of people just turned to ash."
no subject
"The- the big dragon thing? Was that here before? Is it being here a bad thing? It sounds like it's a bad thing."
And can they maybe have less bad things for a change, Wonderland? That'd be nice. Having less horror in their lives. The ash things settle on him quietly, Juliet had said something like that might happen if they lost. He guesses that means they lost.
"Uh. How- how many? Do you know who?"
no subject
"It's bad. It was here before, infecting people's dreams." She's not an expert on it. The last time she read the story was a long time ago. "It's hungry, hungrier than walkers. A whole helluva lot stronger than them too."
She swallows at the other question, and then shakes her head.
"I don't know. A lot. I saw Steven go-" Her eyes close, and she breathes in and then breathes out. Her eyes open once more, and she finds a steady place to stand on somehow in the midst of all this uncertainty and pain, fear and grief. It's an ugly mix like a boulder within. "I can't get a hold of Michonne. A lot of people are just- They're gone."
no subject
Just when he thinks Wonderland can't make anything worse for them, it goes ahead and pulls shit like this. He's starting to wonder if home, as shitty and terrible as it is, is actually the better option. At least they know what they're doing back home. They know danger is going to come from walkers or other people. You can plan around that. You can't plan for some magical dragon lizard thing. Jesus.
It settles on him like a weight. Steven's gone. Steven's a good kid, he reminds Louis of Tenn- and that is a wound that's nowhere near even starting to heal. The thought that another sweet, gentle kid has been wiped out of existence makes his stomach churn. Fuck.
"Michonne?" that's the one that hurts the worst though, fear drips into his expression. "Do you- do you think that happened to her? The dust thing?"
Not Michonne. She's been the first adult he's truly trusted for years. The first one he's really let into his life again. She's like a mother to him, and the thought of her being gone... it makes everything else a hundred times worse.
no subject
They'll have to prepare for what is going to come. They can't just let it happen. But for now, she has to reveal this painful reality to him. She has to tell him that so many people they cared about disappeared in a moment. They turned to ash after she had already died, and-
Clementine would never lie to him even if it means hurting him more, hurting him on top of the rest of the pain and brokenness that he is feeling. Something in her chest tightens.
"Yeah, I do. If she was still alive, she'd be here right now to make sure you were alive again, breathing again," Clementine says, and Michonne is not here so that can only mean one thing: She's gone. She turned to ash or she was killed, but she is not alive right now.
no subject
"Right... yeah."
His heart sinks. This whole thing is utter bullshit. He knows they'll come back- he came back, so it stands to reason they would, too. That's what Wonderland did, right? Brought everyone back. But the fact they return doesn't ease the fact they died any. Instinctively, he reaches out to take one of her hands in his, giving it a gentle squeeze. Comfort, for as much her as him.
"What a shitty fucking week."
no subject
"Yeah. Shitty fucking week."
The shittiest since they got back, the shittiest day in her Wonderland stay so far, and she's including the day that she died and the time that she got a bit drunk, because she was struggling so much with all of it.
"The shittiest."
no subject
"Winner of the Shittiest Week Ever Award," he agrees. "Still not as shitty as home, but it's making a damn good run for that one right now."
He leans in, pressing a kiss to her temple. He's already so very sorry that he left her. That he put her in a position where she had to put him down. But he knows not to voice that- it wouldn't do either of them any good. But this little comfort- he can give her, and hopes it's enough.
no subject
She wants to stay in this moment with him.
She wants to press her ear close to his chest to hear his heartbeat and hear him breathing.
And know that he is alive.
no subject
"Yeah. I think that's a good plan."
He doesn't want to face going out there just yet- dealing with just how many people have died. He isn't ready to even start putting on a smile for anyone else, he just needs a little time to regroup. He closes his eyes, not sleeping just- tuning out for a little while. Just having a short span of time where it was just him and her and nothing else mattered just for goddamn once.